What did I do???

y u do dis

Product: Dear North, Alaska Salmon Bites: Spicy Fireweed Honey
Origin: Alaska, USA

First looks

Katie:
Oh. my. dog.  What did I do. I don't even like seafood at all (I can't put you in my mouth, majestic sea friends! Or, in shrimp's case, underwater bug monsters! Shrimp are actually kind of neat but them and lobsters are just too...icky to eat. I mean, they have wavy antenna! And bug eyes! Anyway, moving on).
My mom said Marshalls had some good snacks so Nick and I went on an adventure there with her. I was sort of half-jokingly dared to try this, knowing I can't stand seafood and I stupidly went "yeah!". Now that the fated hour has arrived, I'm regretting my previous enthusiasm. I hope you are all appreciative of the gigantic sacrifice I'm making for you right now. Because oh my Buddha does this smell so bad to me and the bag isn't even open right now. I hope in another life, I come back as someone who lives on the moon and never has to eat fish again.

Nick:
I'm abstaining from these. Katie is very brave, and I'm so proud of her trying these that I don't even want to point out that you don't need to live on the moon to never eat fish again. These look like if you made beef jerky but instead you made fish, uh, jerky, although I have no idea why you'd want to do that.

Post-bite thoughts

Pictured: nothing like what's on the bag.
Alternate caption: This looks like a poops.

Katie:
I can confirm to all of you that I continue to absolutely not like seafood of any kind whatsoever, full stop. That was so gross.  The actual flavoring stuff on it was good but it could not cover up the fish smell, the weird way fish feels in my mouth, and the fact I want to barf right now. If you like salmon, maybe you'll like this but keep your goddamn hands off me, you damn dirty fisheater.

Nick:
Katie took the smallest possible bite of this and made a "huuUUg" sound like she couldn't believe what life had done to her, then wailed "GAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" and shoved the bag at me so I could slam dunk it into the garbage with maximum force. I don't think she liked these very much. I would honestly rather eat the weird alien egg gluten free bites (review coming soon!) than try a little of this, and that's really saying something.