Treacle Toffee

Product: Treacle Toffee from Walker's Nonsuch
Origin: England (duh)

First looks

Katie:
The package said to whack it so we did. It is still one solid mass of toffee. It smells delicious but I don't know how I'm going to get this in my mouth.

Nick:
On the plus side: It's toffee. I love toffee. On the downside, this looks EXTREMELY dense. The package says to whack it to break it up, and whack it we did (and I'm no stranger to whacking candy; I think I damaged the foundations of the house whacking a chocolate orange) and all we managed to do was split it into two angry chunks. I think this is the stuff the A-10 Warthogs were firing at the Iraqi tanks during Desert Storm.

Post-bite thoughts

Katie:
I knew the English were tough (see pretty much all of WW2...thanks for standing up to Hitler, friends!), but are they all secretly Captain Britain? Is Captain Britain's super power a steel jaw to chew this stuff? It's very good but I can feel every dentist and orthodontist I've ever been to wincing as I try to eat this. Is there a secret British way to eat this? Am I supposed to stick it in some tea or something to soften it? Not that all British people even like tea...just that it's a really hot drink and we know you all like it so much. We even tried to send a bunch of it back to you via the Boston Harbor just cause we're good bros.

Nick:
I've heard that one teaspoon of this toffee contains as many atoms as the rest of the universe. This stuff is absolutely delicious, but after a tenth of the package (and it's a small package!) my jaw aches from ripping at it and chewing it. Now it does soften up when it's actually in your mouth and you can chew it a bit, but I'm never sure if my teeth or the toffee is going to give out first trying to actually bite a piece off to eat. With regret I don't think I'd get this again; the taste is amazing, but it's just slightly dense for me. (eats the whole package anyway)