Product: Mixed fucking nuts you can get anywhere?????
Pre-bite thoughts
Uh... am I missing something? These are just nuts. Like, you can go to the grocery store and get a Planter's jar full of nuts. What are you doing, Munchpak? We didn't sign up to get random items you can get in any gas station. You know what, maybe the label is a misprint and there's something else in here, because if this is just NUTS, I'm not going to be pleased. Seriously - this better not just be mixed nuts you can get anywhere, because why you'd sign up for a subscription box that gives you mixed fucking nuts, the world's most widely available snack, I have no idea. What's in the next box, bottled water? Get your shit together, Munchpak! Y'all looking bush league out here with this naff snack!
Katie:
Coming soon to a bottle near you...water. Each morning, dozens of mustachioed men stand in our authentic vineyard to collect the dew on their mustaches. Each hair is then finely combed into reclaimed containers then shipped by dogs in bespoke outfits on artisanal bicycles pedaled by those flat-faced cats directly to Whole Foods, then on to you.
We don't contaminate our water with filtration systems or requiring the mustache men to take showers, because that's what Big Pharma would want us to do. Our water comes straight to you...from nature.*
*Water taken from municipal system.
Post-bite thoughts
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| YUP. Peanuts with salt on them you can get literally anywhere. Only Munchpak could bring us this exciting and exotic snack!!!111 |
I don't know, guys. Is it time to shut this blog down? I mean, we must have tried every interesting snack in the world if we're getting mixed fucking nuts in a munchpak now, right? I mean, what's left to try? Unpopped popcorn? The alternative is that Munchpak's lost the plot. Mixed fuckin' nuts. Get your act together, guys. Embarrassing.
Katie:
More like...mixed butts.
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