Origin: Actually France
First looks
Nick:
Oh, wow. Just stuck a crepe in a wrapper and shipped it over here, huh? I'm really worried about this, so much so that I barely even noticed it's strawberry flavored (smells like strawberry beef jerky). I mean, how long does a crepe stay good for? The package even yells "NO PRESERVATIVES"!!! I hope this crepe isn't crap!
Katie:
Uh-oh, Nick's arch-nemesis--the strawberry! I think he maybe liked one of the strawberry things we tried (link?) so maybe he'll like this. Not too optimistic though. Some enmities run deep and strawberry knows what it did. I'm hoping this will be good but when something says no preservatives then is packaged like a food you can enjoy a year later...I'm not terribly hopeful. If there are no preservatives (which are, you know, the things that preserve the food) how is it going to still even been good when I open it? Am I missing some #foodfacts here? Also, I'm too busy to #mybreakfast, fellow kids! Ug. I hope that commercial is still airing by the time this posts so you can all hate on it with me. She's not even reacting to real traffic! Look out the window, the traffic she's all mad at is in the opposite lane.
Post-bite thoughts
THIS CREPE IS CRAP DUDE. I didn't realize it had GOOP in it. There's some kind of evil, primordial ooze lurking deep in the dough folds of this crepe. It's real bad. I don't know what we did to France, but nobody deserves this crepe, except the annoying lady in that ad. She can eat this. Maybe they'll destroy each other. Wouldn't that be wonderful? Both of them expiring in a huge explosion, and after the dust clears, all of the now-free people of Earth holding hands as the sun shines. Fuck this crepe.
Katie:
The crepe tastes like white bread. Dry ass white bread. That can't be what crepes are. Isn't France the epitome of cuisine? So much so that saying a chef was trained in France is short-hand on cooking shows for how amazing at cooking they are? Anyway, the crepe was dry and bland. The goop was a little off putting but mostly just tasted like cheap jelly. Thanks but no thanks. I'm sticking with the grey stuff, it's delicious. Don't believe me? Ask the dishes!
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