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| Shuck you, guys. Go shuck yourselves. |
Origin: California
First looks
Katie:
So now I have to do your work for you and shuck my own nuts? If I wanted to shuck my own nuts (which I don't, the only food I like freeing from its natural packaging is a banana), I would just go find a nut bush (tree?) and pick them myself.
On the back, there are directions on how to eat these. Step one: Suck 'em. Get it? Cause they're nuts. Step two: Shuck 'em. Okay so now I have to take them out of my mouth after they've been covered in spit to take them apart? Why does this have to be so gross? This is like a horribly written fan fiction by a 12 year old who doesn't know how sex works. What other food even works like this? I'm officially not eating these now. Step 3: Chuck 'em. Oh so now you want us to litter? Great, we can have disgusting spit-covered nut shells all over our house. Just want I always wanted. Good job, Koji.
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| Lazy motherfuckers |
I don't understand this product at all. I'm supposted to take an unshelled almond that Bobalu is too lazy to shuck himself (but has covered in honey cinnamon sugar?), suck on it for a while, take it OUT of my mouth, shuck it myself, throw the shell away, and then eat the almond inside? Hey Bobalu, here's a free tip for you: How about you just SHUCK THE ALMOND FOR ME AND PUT THE FLAVORING ON THE PART I CAN ACTUALLY EAT? Is there a shortage of almond shuckers? You can't like build a machine to do this or something?
Post-bite thoughts
Katie:
Since I don't want to play around with my own spit as I'm not longer 3, I'm not doing this. This is a big nope. I'd rather eat the salmon jerky again and that gave me the ooky shivers. Instead, here's a picture of the Dabrowski coat of arms.
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| Wikipedia yelled at me to credit this: By No machine-readable author provided. Mathiasrex assumed (based on copyright claims). - No machine-readable source provided. Own work assumed (based on copyright claims)., CC BY 2.5, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=1935758 |
Nick:
At the mall there's a store called Gertrude Hawk (I think) and they'll take nuts - including almonds! - and dip them in cinnamon sugar. These are like that, except Getrude Hawk takes the shell off; what you have here is a bad idea where you have to suck on the shell (which admittedly tastes very nice) until it softens up, then take the shell out of your mouth, throw it away and eat the almond inside. Except the almond inside, since the shell hasn't been removed, has no flavoring on it, so it just taste like a boring old unflavored almond. Hey Bobalu, I have some advice for you on how to improve these. Put your ear right up against the screen. That's right. Okay, ready?
JUST PUT THE SUGAR ON THE FUCKING ALMOND NEXT TIME. Jesus.
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