11.12.2017

Pickle Rick!!!!!!!!!!

Product: Maple bourbon bread and butter pickles
Origin: Brooklyn Brine Company

First looks

Katie:
Pickles from Bucky and Steve's hometown so you know they're going to be good. I mean...okay that has nothing to do with it. It's not like Bucky and Steve own this company and run it during their down time...as cool as that would be. Anyway. The pickles smell mostly like a regular bread and butter pickle would.  I have a good feeling about these; I love bread and butter pickles, maple is delicious, and any food I've ever had flavored with bourbon has been good. Don't let me down, pickles from Brooklyn that aren't really made by Bucky and Steve but would be awesome if they were!

Nick:
(Open on the Brooklyn Brine Co)
STEVE: Boy, there's nothing more relaxing than making pickles in between Avengers missions, even though I'm a free agent or something after Civil War, so that in every Marvel movie it's not like "Why isn't Captain America here? Where's Iron Man?"
BUCKY: I agree. I sure hope Katie enjoys eating our pickles because she is the most cool, powerful, and attractive.
STEVE: Eating our pickles.
BUCKY: What?
STEVE: Like a double entendre.
BUCKY: I'm so proud of you.

Post-bite thoughts

Katie:
What the actual fuck, pickles??? These were nasty! All you had to do was make bread and butter pickles, which last I checked are sweet not salty and gross. There was no maple taste at all. It was just straight up salt mixed with awful. What happened guys? Did you just pull a bunch of words out of a hat, slap it on the jar, add the word Brooklyn for authenticity and call it a day? I really, really wanted to like these but damn, dude. I don't even have more words to describe how disappointed I am right now.

Nick:
I retract my earlier fan-fiction sketch; there's no way Bucky or Steve would turn out something this bad. These pickles must be a HYDRA plot to disappoint innocent pickle fans or something, because I don't know how else these turned out bad. Bread and butter pickles are supposed to be sweet, you dumbasses! Like Katie said, there is 0% maple in this, and me, the Ol' Maple Kid, would know. These just taste like old fart salt, and they're really limp and gross (I mean, I know a pickle isn't usually super crunchy when it's packed in brine, but these are like mushy and feel nasty in your mouth). Boo, Brooklyn Brine Co! I say boo to you!

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