Russian cream crackers

Product: Milky Village Sweet Curd Biscuits
Origin: Russia

First looks

Katie:
I was expecting more sandwich crackers from the translated title. There is a lovely design on each cracker that says...I'm not sure. I lost my ability to decipher cursive (and plus it's in Russian). The biscuit smells buttery. My hopes are high for this one.

Nick:
Oh boy. I really hope that name is a marketing gimmick or a mistranslation, because I really don't think I want curd in my life. If these were like "Marketing Village Butter Biscuits" I'd be resting a little easier. As Katie said, though, they smell more like butter than anything, and I'm hoping these are just nice thick buttery biscuits. Also, even though I had a whole medium pizza for lunch and then Doritos and then a M&Ms ice cream bar I'm really hungry.

Post-bite thoughts

Katie:
I'm not going to fall into the trap of complaining about how much faster Nick's metabolism is than mine. I'll eat half a sandwich and be full all day...wait, he got me! Curse you, Bottomless Stomach Lad!
Anyway, I thought the biscuits were quite yummy. They're like animal crackers except way better and with an actual taste. They only lose points compared to animal crackers because you can't pretend to be a dinosaur chomping your way through the animal kingdom with the Milky Village biscuits. You can, however, destroy several homes that are on each cracker so you could pretend to be the Empire from the opening scenes of Rogue One when they attack Jyn's farm. (Editor's note: Too soon, bro. #resisttheempire)

Nick:
Well, nothing to worry about with these; they taste like butter, with I guess a very, very slight kind of cream undertone in there. I think Katie nailed it comparing these to animal crackers; they're like a really big, better tasting, less cheap-feeling animal cracker. I don't know if I'd go out of my way to order more, but I'd be happy to see them show up in a Munchpak again. I ate my half and I'm still hungry, though. Can we try another snack? Anything but that thing in the Marshall's box that looks like someone packaged up puke to sell.