Origin: California, US
First looks
Katie:
I admit it. I grabbed this because it said Major Dickason on it and I was amused. Hopefully, there are sister flavors like Colonel Butts, Lieutenant Bonerz, and Captain Boober. The coffee smells very nice. Neither of us drink our coffee black so there are two spoons of sugar, a splash of Lactaid Whole Milk, and a little splorsh of International Delight Coldstone Creamery Sweet Cream creamer. I need to stop typing now because I just got up and have used all my residual brain power up from yesterday and I need to recharge it with delicious coffee.
Nick:
This stuff is pretty pretentious. The "Tasting Notes" on the side say "Rich, complex, multi-layered; like a relationship with an old friend". I don't know about y'all, but when I get up in the morning and want coffee, I'm not thinking "Oh man, I sure hope this tastes like my relationship with an old friend." Then the back talks about how they roast coffee with "the precision of a craftsman... not a computer". Is this a problem people have? Harried buisnesswomen spiting out their morning coffee and angrily barking "Clearly a computer roasted this coffee without the five senses of a craftsman!"? They promise that inside this box is "something you've never tasted before - something uniquely rich and deep". This better be fucking amazing, is what I'm saying.
Post-sip thoughts
It's good. It tastes like a good cup of coffee. I'm afraid I can't describe it in lurid fashion like I want to bone this cup of coffee as the box does but yeah, it's tasty. I've had better non-flavored blends before like the Veranda blend from Starbucks but this is good. I'd have more. Golden French Toast is still my favorite though. Also, my brain is not recharged because I almost fell back asleep when Nick was typing.
Nick:
Not bad! Unlike the box, I'm going to be humble and not going to make something up about how my coffee-making skill is a superhuman talent perfected over years of adding creamer and sugar and just give this stuff credit for being tasty. For being dark coffee, it's actually pretty sweet, which is nice; a lot of dark coffee has a marketing hyperbole thing going on where it can't just be dark coffee, it has to be DARK COFFEE where your taste buds venture into the depths of a pitch black dungeon and as you take a sip the torch goes out and then they're destroyed by immortal coffee wraiths from beyond our plane of existence or whatever, so it's nice to have a blend that both has a nice dark coffee taste and is somewhat sweet. Maybe they should mark this as Baby's First Dark Coffee and it would make a little more sense. Like Katie said, I've had better coffee, but this is a solid B.
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