Origin: Lithuania
First looks
Nick:
I hope there's a bon chance these are good! If you're wondering about the title, this is our first ever pagaminta lletuvjoe product, which I think it means product of Lithuania, and it has one of those stickers on the back that has to be slapped on when it's imported into America, and it says "Best before: look at the package". Like, fuck you, that's how you want to start our relationship, passive-aggressively telling me to just look at the package, man? The front also suggest you eat these with salad, soup, and drinks, but honestly if I'm eating all that I can probably take or leave sour cream and onion bread, uh, crisps.
Katie:
I scared my cat just now with my high-pitched laughing (on an unrelated matter, not that Nick isn't funny! He's funny a lot...even sometimes on purpose ha ha!). Anyway, Greggy was scared by my laughing and tried to leave but then I stopped laughing and he stayed here. Cool story, right bro?
Okay so bread crisps. Crisps are English potato chips? Or are they french fries? One of the two. Basically, even though they invented the language, the English use all the wrong words for things and use way too many Us. You do win at having accents. Every accent on that whole island is awesome and cool. Everything sounds much smarter when a British says it.
Wow, that's a powerful onion smell. I think I'm going to like these.
Nick:
I think Katie forgot about Cockney accents; not everyone sounds like the classy people on Dowtown Abbey. Also, the British lost the Revolutionary war because Americans would march into battle holding giant U's that the British wasted on words that don't need a U like "Armor", and when the British shot their guns the Americans would catch them in one end of the U and it would do a U-turn and come out the other side and hit the British soldier, so they lost the war even though they possessed bullet-proof toffee technology that they could have made into invincible if very sticky body armor. You wankers.
As for this snack, it's pretty good! I'm not sure it really gains much from being a bread chip, which mostly just makes it very, very slightly more chewy; it's still nice and tasty like a potato chip. The flavoring is quite good, too - I'm not sure I really get much sour cream, but there's a very nice ranchy oniony flavor. Nice job, Lithuania! Send us another nice snack, maybe the review for that one won't end up being about British accents and toffee body armor and scared cats. I mean, no promises.
Katie:
Oh yeah, those guys. They might not sound like they drink books for breakfast and eat Critique of Pure Reason for tea, but they do sound like they have a tough, well-earned street wisdom.
I'm glad you brought up the U defense. I think its origins lay in the U bows used by the English in the Battle of Agincourt. Of course, when they founded the colonies, many the Us from that time were shipped over to be used as doorways but it wasn't until the mid-18th century that the colonists rediscovered their more martial purpose. If England hadn't been so wasteful with her remaining U supply by stuffing them into words, the history of the United States would be a lot different!
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