Salsa Taste Test

Nick makes me veggie fajitas every Saturday (peppers and onions, no meat). I had been using Pace's Serrano Pineapple salsa, but that seems to have been discontinued. I thought it would be fun to try several different salsas with my Mom (Susan), brother (Mike), and the two of us. We only took one picture of the taco bowls we made at the end with the winning salsa(s) since pictures of 10 jars of salsa wouldn't have been interesting.

All ratings are out of 5.

Los Panchos Restaurant Salsa

Susan - 4, Mike - 5, Katie - 4.5, Nick - 4.5

Nick:

Well, not to spoil this whole post, but I would be shocked if this wasn't the best stuff; this is authentic salsa from a local Mexican restaurant. And it's great! This is exactly what I think of when I think of salsa. It's the Platonic salsa that exists in the world of forms or whatever it is. I did 4.5 in case one of the other ones really blew me away and redefined my understanding of salsa, which you'll have to read on to see if that happened.

Katie:

I think Nick said it best. This was good and exactly what I think of when I think of salsa.

Indian Ladder Apple Salsa

Susan - 4.5, Mike - 4.5, Katie - 5, Nick - 4.5

Katie:

My old favorite! Before the pandemic, we would drive out to Indian Ladder farms and stock up on this literal boxes at a time. I would carefully ration out my apple salsa over the winter when the farm wouldn't be open to get more. I think we stopped getting it mainly because of the pandemic and the farm not always having some in stock. It is on the sweet side but I still really enjoyed it.

Nick:

WHOOH, this was sweet! Between the extreme sweetness and maximum chunkosity, this was more like jam than salsa. Tasted good on a salty chip, but I don't know if this would really fit well in some spots where you would use traditional salsa. 

Los Panchos Queso

Susan - 4.5, Mike - 4, Katie - 4, Nick - N/A

Nick:

I had to do N/A on this one as I can't eat cheese without turning into a weapon of mass destruction. Tasted good, but I only had a tiny bit. Nice and creamy. I bet this would cut down spice nicely.

Katie:

I thought this was good. It wasn't too thicky or overly favoring one type of cheese. You know the kind, where it might as well be just melted cheddar instead of a melty saucey cheese blendy thing.

Mrs. Renfro's Craft Beer Salsa

Susan - 0, Mike - 2, Katie - 0, Nick - 0

Katie:

At first, I was like "oh this is fine" but then the beer kicked in and I was like "yuck!". I have never liked beer. It tastes like what pee smells like to me. Sorry, beer fans.

Nick:

Oh NOOOOOOOO. Mrs. Renfro, what are you doing?! Is this what beer tastes like? This didn't taste like salsa it all; it tasted like kind of sour dirt. This may be one of the most disgusting tastes I have ever experienced. This doesn't even deserve the name salsa. Mrs. Renfro's Disgraced Butt Dirt Tasting Product For Bad People. Richly earned zeroes! 

Mrs. Renfro's Blackberry Serrano

Susan - 1, Mike - 2.5, Katie - 2.5, Nick - 2.5

Nick:

After that nasty last one, I was very worried Mrs. Renfro was going to kill us with this follow-up salsa. It's actually not bad, but it's very odd. When you eat salsa, are you looking for a spicy blueberry taste? I'm not, and my mouth was super confused eating this. I think this might be delicious as, like, a very lightly applied sauce on top of a sweet cake or something. As salsa, I'm really struggling to think when and where you would want this.

Katie:

You know, this was actually kind of good but when would you use it? I suppose some adventurous and creative home-chef could use it for a breakfast twist of some kind. It definitely wouldn't belong on a dinner food due to how sweet it was. Still, if you ever want a really sweet salsa for something...you could pick this up.

Frontero Roasted Tomato Salsa

Susan - N/A, Mike - 0.5, Katie - 0, Nick -1

Katie:

I think we had a review where we discussed smokiness having infused flavor versus tasting like a campfire in a can. This was the latter. It was salsa with smoke on top of it. Not good, my friends.

Nick:

Ouch, look at those scores! We all hated this because it was packed with fake smoke flavor. Just tasted like eatin' a campfire. I like smoke flavor, and as you can see from my one being the highest score for this, we all basically agreed this was trash that belongs in the garbage. I don't know that I'm looking for a smoky taste in salsa to begin with, but if I was, this is definitely not to pull it off.

Desert Pepper Peach Mango

Susan - 1, Mike - 3, Katie - 1.5, Nick - 0.5

Nick:

WHOOH boy, this was nasty AF. I actually liked this less than the fake smoke flavor; I don't know if it was the mango or the peach, but this had an absolutely disgusting fake fruit flavor that I could not stand. Absolutely terrible. 

Katie:

I don't think the mango was good in this. I think the peach might have been okay but the mango threw things off. I think I've liked mango in other places just not here. Boo.

Pace Restaurant Style

Susan - 3, Mike - 4, Katie - 4, Nick - 4

Katie:

This was good! If we hadn't had the salsa from Los Panchos, this might have won. I think Los Panchos had something to it that set it apart though. Don't ask me what it was...perhaps the secret ingredient was the friendship we'd made along the way. 

Nick:

Very good! I think this is as good as you're going to get in a jar of salsa you get from the supermarket. Like the Los Panchos Restaurant stuff, this is exactly what I think of when I envision salsa, and the fact that it can almost match up to fresh, locally made salsa is pretty impressive for a jarred product. This is probably what I'd be reaching for if I don't feel like going to Los Panchos. 

Newman's Own Peach

Susan - 3.5, Mike - 4, Katie - 3, Nick - 0

Nick:

Maybe it was the peach I didn't like up there in the Desert Pepper Peach Mango, because this was nasty.  I think I just hate peach taste; everyone else seemed to like this quite a bit, so my guess is there's nothing wrong with this, I just can't stand the peach taste. Eugh.

Katie:

I knew the peach would be fine on its own! This is going on my last of back-up flavors along with the pineapple version I'd already liked. Funnily enough, I don't much care for the non-fruit flavors of Newman's Own. Go Figure.

BONUS: Nature's Promise Red Pepper Hummus

Susan - N/A, Mike - 4, Katie - 3.5, Nick - 3

Katie:

I liked this a lot. It was very smooth, not at all gritty like some hummus can be. 

Nick:

"Nature's Promise: When They're Out Of Sabra™"

We all decided that Los Panchos and the apple salsa were the winners. My mom had the idea of mixing the two together, which was genius and flipping delicious. In the time since the taste test, I had an impromptu fajita night and had a live pilot of the two flavors together. I ain't never going back! It was awesome!

Fresh Basil Fettuccine & Yellow Tomato Sauce

Food Prep and Cooking

Nick:

Pretty easy - we made the rustic-style (read: chunky af) sauce in a sauté pan on one burner while boiling water and cooking the noodles in it on the right. My only complaint is that the noodles were corded up in a way that made it difficult to untangle them, and as a result despite our best stirring, the finished product had some of them stuck together two or three thick. Otherwise, no sweat.

Katie:

This is our first Blue Apron recipe! When we were choosing what recipes to try on their site, they helpfully added a tip on what cooking utensils to have on hand for the meal prep. Nothing too crazy, of course. We were even supplied with butter and red pepper flakes! I'm impressed. The old box assumed you had certain things on hand. The instructions are a little more in depth as well. The old box certainly told you what to do but I felt Blue Apron did a bit of a better job explaining things for this first recipe. 

Post-meal Thoughts

Nick:

Hmmm.... pretty good! I was a bit worried this sauce was going to be ULTRA CHUNK when we poured the canned yellow tomatoes out into a bowl, but I think they cooked down pretty well. The big blat of butter and cream we added made the sauce taste really good, and I'm normally not a creamy sauce person. I think I would get this again, although I wonder if just having a jar of nice cream sauce is less work. My only complaint is the zucchini, which doesn't really work here; if I'm eating a nice, garlicy, creamy noodle, I don't really want to have a zucchini piece in there I have to stop and chew for a while. To improve this dish, I would - you guessed it - axe the zucchini, which is quickly becoming as feared and ingredient to me as kale, green peas or mushrooms. Off to a good start with Blue Apron! (Typed "Blue Apron" like six times)

Katie:

I was initially worried about the level of chunkiness in the sauce. Nick is notoriously anti-chunk. Any dish with too different mouth textures included (soup that has too big chunks you need to chew, for example) sets off his Nick alarm during which we are all subjected to, at length, how there was "too much chewing" and "I don't want to chew for 30 minutes on one bite". I can sympathize since I don't like meat you have to chew more than a few bites and whatnot so it's not like I'm not a weirdo too. And you've read all my reviews where I'm all "I don't like gummy food" or whatever. I can already sense Nick coming up with a rebuttal from his side of the couch. 

Back to the food! I thought this was very good and would definitely get it again. The creamy sauce didn't taste like hot milk but instead carried the flavors of the garlic, red peppers, and others with it. I never felt I was missing anything from one bite to the next either. Everything was well blended and complemented each other. There was no weird kale bits crapping up the joint either! I agree with Nick on the zucchini, let's axe it for next time. It's, at best, just there without a flavor of its own to contribute. 

Nick PS: In my defense, as Katie noted, she doesn't love chewy food either. Which one of us hates gum so much every time they pass someone chewing it yells "Look at this dumb cow chewing their cud!!!" at the closed car window? I rest my case.

Katie PPS: Mostly just when it's with the mouth open and there's that loud wet mouth sound.

Plant-based Protein & Bean Chili

Food Prep and Cooking

Katie:

The prep was pretty simple. Chop and pot, really. We needed butter, which we wouldn't normally have in the fridge if Nick hadn't started making popcorn again. Some of the peppers had been a little too wet when packaged and had a few slimy parts that I had to cut off. 

Nick:

Easiest prep yet - throw stuff in a pot and cook it. Even that gave us some trouble, though; I've given up on figuring out what simmering something is. I thought I knew, but we always end up with too much liquid, and guess what? We ended up with too much liquid after simmering this for ten minutes. Also, this is our last Green Chef bag! We're switching because Blue Apron lets you do just two meals a week, and also if I get one more bag with cremini mushrooms, green peas, or kale I am going to scream. Fuck off, kale! You're not wanted here! Go back to Hell! 

Post-meal thoughts

Katie:

Well, it was fine. I thought I'd broken up the impossible meat into small enough chunks or the chunks that were left would like...melt or something? It was still okay but I think it needed that mushroom concentrate from the tacos a while back. I was super worried about the giant kidney beans, so much so I made us try a little spoonful before we plated to ensure we weren't making a terrible mistake. 

As Nick mentioned in Prep, we had a lot of liquid. And it was fine, I guess. Like I ate my dinner but this isn't something I'd order on purpose, at least not if it turns out the same. We're building our ability to cook, at least.

Nick:

Before cooking this, I was worried about the big-ass beans and hopeful that the fake meat would be as delicious as it was back when we made the tacos. As it turned out, the beans, despite both of us worrying about them ("What about the BEANS" Katie shrieked), were fine; they were nice and cooked so I barely even noticed them. Unfortunately, the fake meat was not good, friends. It was missing whatever in the tacos made it super savory. Bring back the mushroom stock! I think it was almost too real; like Katie said, we had trouble breaking it up, despite both of us taking turns with the flipper trying to mash it into bite-sized chunks, and a bite of, umm, I guess this is chili with too much fake meat in it was not very pleasant. I think I feel the same way Katie does; it's fine, but not something I'm running out to order more of. To improve this dish, I would add the mushroom stock!! Where is my mushroom stock?? Where is it? Who has my mushroom stock? I'm after that mushroom stock like Sauron after the One Ring. Which one of you hairy-footed little thieves has it?! 

Butternut Squash Chili

Food Prep and Cooking

Nick:

We've never made chili before (okay, I've never made chili before; maybe Katie chili-cheated on me), but this is basically what I would expect: Heat oil, add chopped onions, cook, add corn, tomatoes, squash, keep cooking, add water, spicy tomato sauce and vegetable stock, simmer. We also added toasted sliced tortilla shells, which didn't look anything like the little photo on the recipe card. 

Katie:

In the Before Times, work used to have a chili cook-off every year. My only knowledge of chili was the kind with lots of beef and beans. I never tried that kind. I did try some sample cups of the work chili which was more varied--chicken fajita chili and I think even an Italian Wedding soup-inspired one--than just the beef-bean kind. Even still, I never had anywhere close to a bowl of chili before. I suppose the prep was about what I expected...seemed easy enough. We still don't have the "salt and pepper to taste" part down as we don't know what anything is supposed to taste like.

Oh I remembered that the beans smelled super bad when we opened the box. Like "should we even include this" funky.

Post-meal thoughts

Nick:

Hmmm... is this chili? This tasted like vegetable soup. I mean, it's not bad at all, but if you blindfolded me and I took a bite of this, I'm going to say hearty vegetable stew. Chili should be like... thicker? Spicier? It's not soupy, right? I'm very puzzled by this. The tortilla strips were good, but once again I feel like whoever wrote out the recipe should have had us chop an ingredient smaller so it was bite-sized; a six inch long toasted tortilla strip is too much to eat in one bite. It tasted pretty good with the beans, corn, tomato and a tortilla strip all in one bite, but is it chili? I'm going to say no. To improve this dish, I would - you guessed it - order Burger King delivery. Just kidding, I'd make the tortilla strips bite sized. (Although that Burger King does sound pretty good. I think I need more meat in my diet...)

Katie:

I would like to echo Nick's question--is this chili? What is chili? Is it just soup with a bunch of stuff in it? An advanced stew? 

I thought this was good but needed more taste. I would have loved some of that plant-based protein and mushroom concentrate from those tacos a few weeks back to add some meaty flavor. There needed to be more flavor, for sure. I even enjoyed the beans, except when I looked at them. If I looked at the spoon, I felt revulsion and didn't want to put it in my mouth. If I paid attention to Midsomer Murders instead, the texture of the beans was indistinguishable from the corn. I'm still not ready to hop on the train to Beanburg and accept beans on all the things, but I'm more at ease with them being included.

Peanut Udon Noodle Bowls

Food Prep and Cooking

Katie:

The food prep was simple and quick this time. We did skip the mushrooms and edamame so there's some time saved there. I had fun grating the carrot, something I haven't done since I was a kid. Although, I remember grating a lot of cheese. I don't remember why but we bought cheddar cheese in this big long block and grated it ourselves. Did they not sell grated cheese in the late 80s? Or was it just for fancy people? I don't even think you can buy blocks of cheese like that now, can you?

Nick:

Sure you can! Next time we actually go to the supermarket (like CHUMPS) I'll get you a $600 wheel of that parmesan cheese you like. Just make sure you eat it all before it goes stale! Ha ha!

As for the prep, like Katie said, very simple - I think this was the easiest one we've ever done. Boil up some noodles, cook some peppers in a pan, combine, add sauce, plate, and put a ton of shredded carrot on top. I think it would have been more complicated if we hadn't skipped the mushrooms, but I hate the texture of mushrooms. Fuck mushrooms. All my homies hate mushrooms. #killallmushrooms

Post-meal thoughts

Katie:

Oh my gosh, my friends. I want 3 or 4 more bowls of this. We weren't halfway through before we started talking about making this ourselves (and also if we wanted to have yogurt because we were still hungry). This is the first time we are going to keep the recipe and attempt to make a version on our own. The sauce was delicious, the peppers were in that sweet spot of being a bit burnt and sweetish, and the carrots added a yummy texture to the dish. In all serious, I want way more of this than we got. I'm guessing the bowl would have been more full with the stuff we left off.

Nick:

I know it seems kind of silly to throw a bunch of ingredients away and then complain that the finished dish doesn't give you enough to eat, but, uh, here we are. You could easily stand to double the noodles on this bad boy and I think it would still be great. What we did get was excellent; as Katie said the peppers were done just the right amount, and the noodles, sauce and carrots all combined wonderfully. The only problem is that I wanted more, and not just I wanted more as in it was great and I want to eat more, but I wanted more as in it wasn't enough to fill me up and I'm going to have to go eat something else. Double the noodles in this and I think you have a sure fire hit. As it is, it tastes great, but this is more like an appetizer than a meal that's going to fill you all the way up. 

Pesto Penne Primavera

Food Prep and Cooking

Nick:

Little more hectic than usual, but not too bad; cook the penne, reduce the vinegar (which apparently just means simmer for 4-5 minutes?), combine it all in a big sauté pan with the tomato, squash, and pesto dressing. This is the first time I think we've ever actually used the back burner (to create the reduction), but nothing super exciting. 

Katie:

I thought a reduction would be more complicated. Maybe we had the most basic form or something. The steps fell inline nicely, a big improvement over the last time. The whole prep was fairly easy and straightforward. Not much to comment on here other than it all went smoothly.

Post-meal Thoughts

Nick:

OHHHHHHH NOOOOOOO. This had two problems, one big and one small. The small one is texture; I apparently like little baby cherry tomatoes, but just hacking an adult one into hunks and tossing it into a reduction... very bad. And the butternut squash... very bad. Just gross, squishy, yucky vegetables. Whenever you see an ad on TV and it shows a kid eating vegetables and they're upset and the narrator is like "TIRED OF THE SAME OLD VEGETABLES?", that's what these are. Blech.

As for the big problem... that pesto. This tasted like going outside and eating the lawn. Why does it taste like grass??? Apparently I have the doesn't like pesto gene, and it's very powerful in my family. Just like the Force, except instead of giving me awesome super powers I can't eat this penne dish. I took one bite of tomato and went "oh no", one bite of squash and went "oh NO" and then one bite of penne and yelled "OH NO!" and ran into the kitchen to microwave some Spaghettios. Just awful. Truly terrible. I hated everything about this. No sir, I did not like this. Mm-mm, nope. No.

Katie:

I have the complete opposite reaction as Nick. I really enjoyed this. I thought the balsamic reduction added a great element to the dish. Any time I found a tomato piece, I was quite pleased. I wasn't too keen on how big the squash pieces were (at the best of times, I think squash is fine enough but these pieces were way too big) and found myself digging them out to devour first so I could enjoy the penne, tomato, and little bits of roasted red pepper in peace. 

We actually got a decent amount of penne too. Usually, you get maybe a mouthful or two of pasta in frozen meals and any pre-prepped stuff. I was delighted to see how filling the meal would be. I did eat Nick's half so I'm extra full but I think even with just my original, I would have been satisfied.

As a small bit of housekeeping, we are switching meal box subs. We have this week and one more with Green Chef then we're trying Blue Apron. Looking forward to seeing how we fare!

Sweet Potato Quinoa Bowls

Food Prep and Cooking

Katie:

With most of the Green Chef meals we've tried so far, the prep proceeds with each step falling neatly in line with the next. We have perhaps had a few extra minutes here and there but things are usually quite on time. For this recipe, we were stuck waiting on the roasted sweet potatoes and peppers for over 10 minutes with everything else being already completed.

Nick:

I think the problem here is the quinoa going 14-16 minutes against the roast veggies going 20-22; on top of that the quinoa finished a few minutes early, so we just sat around for a while and then went to watch Father Brown. Nothing too exciting here, though; cook quinoa, roast veggies, make "colelsaw" (cabbage and mango with dressing on top), combine. We'll come back to that "combine" later. (ominous music)

Post-meal thoughts

Katie:

We'd come to an agreement after the last dish with the 'put most of this dressing on then save some to drizzle at the end' instructions; we're not doing that anymore. The kale--or slaw in this case--doesn't have enough flavor on its own to warrant shorting it on dressing for a drizzle. I think we're going to have a new agreement...put the kale/slaw/whatnot in a separate bowl. Having the slaw in with the quinoa made everything taste not so good. The bites with just slaw were fine, as I said, we learned our lesson last time about saving some for the drizzle. The bites with just quinoa and roast veggies were fine but the bites with a combo of all three or some variation were not great. The dressing on the mango slaw just did not go well with the quinoa flavoring and the roasted veggies.

I think we would have liked this much better in two separate bowls or on two halves of a plate.

Nick:

Hooh boy, I did not like this. I think the problem with this dish comes down to one instruction: "Top with the slaw." On their own, the quinoa is fine, the roasted veggies are great, and the - I guess I'm going to call it slaw - are good. Mixed together, though... there's some kind of unpleasant sour flavor produced when it's all mixed up that I really didn't like. If I got a bite with enough roasted veggies to overpower this, it was absolutely delicious, but that was not easy to do. Katie was guessing it was the agave dressing from the coleslaw; I don't know enough to say for sure, but I think that's right. Having the slaw in a separate bowl I think would have made this quite good - one or two bites of mixed up quinoa and veggies, a palette-cleanser bite of the, umm, "slaw". All mixed up, though... this had a date with the garbage disposal pretty quick. Well, now we know for next time, AndKnowingIsHalftheBattleGIJoeAmericanHereo etc.

Maple-Glazed Carrot & Farro Bowls

Food Prep and Cooking

Nick:

Nothing too surprising - cook the farro in a pot, cut up the carrots, roast 'em in the oven. The biggest problem we had was, as always, with the kale; the instructions have you put oil, salad dressing and salt and pepper on it, then like massage it? How am I supposed to do that? I'm not touching it with my bare hands after pouring all that stuff on, right? The instructions act like everyone learns how to massage kale in school. What do you want from me, Green Chef???

Katie:

I echo Nick's sentiments, especially regarding the kale. Shouldn't we be massaging it before dumping all the gunk on it?

On a positive note, the sealant did not fail on our powder packet of seasoning this time. We got the full pouch.

Post-meal Thoughts

Nick:

Whooh boy, I did not enjoy this. In fact, I think I would put this as tied for the worst meal we've had. There are three big components; the carrots, the farro (plus walnuts and tomatoes), and the kale. The carrots are fine; they don't really taste like much, and we were instructed to cut them up too big to make them bite-sized, which was kind of annoying, but fine. The farro was good, nice and salty and mildly spicy. The problem is the kale, which is absolutely nasty. I have come to realize that I really don't like kale, and taking a bite that includes kale just tastes like kale. From the name of this dish, I was expecting something sweet and maple-y; from the ton of seasoning we dumped on the farro, I was expecting something spicy; from that combination, you might expect a delicious dish, but guess what? It just tastes like kale. I didn't even want to eat all of mine. What a disappointment. The kale really ruins this dish; take the kale out and it would probably be pretty good (a bite of farro, tomato, and walnut was wonderful, but it's hard to find a bite that doesn't have kale ruining it). Swing and a miss here, guys. To improve this dish, aside from removing the disgusting kale, I would cut the carrots in half to make them bite-sized. F+

Katie:

There are some problems with this dish. First, the kale. Kale tastes like bitter leaves to me. It takes a lot of flavoring to mask the bitterness. I thought there was a dish we had that smothered the kale enough so it wasn't bad but I can't remember. We were instructed to dump only a tablespoon of the green goddess dressing on the kale, saving the rest "for taste" at the end. Big mistake. Kale needs a lot of help to not be a bitter, depressed mangle of leaves, still angry at its ex over that divorce 10 years ago. She's moved on, Kale. Stop being bitter and move on with your life.

Second problem; the farro. I know Nick said he liked it. It was fine. There was some good smokiness to the flavoring powder but not underlying flavoring to elevate it beyond just being smoky. There was no hint of the wood smoked...just the smoke like it was off any old backyard summer bonfire.

Third problem; the carrots. As the item I liked the most, it still wasn't that good. Maybe they needed to be cooked longer, they definitely needed to be smaller, and they never developed a good caramelization glaze. They were cooked carrots tasting of maple rather than maple-glazed carrots.

Copying Nick's bit, I'm going to suggest how to improve this dish. First, make the kale its own bowl if you are hellbent on keeping it. Throw all the green goddess at it along with something else to flavor and texture it. Second, keep the tomatoes in with the farro only roast them. I don't know if you can maple-glaze tomatoes but why not? Third, provide more direction on what 'lightly oil' means. If getting a maple glaze on your carrots is important, direct your readers further on how to accomplish it. I have a feeling our 'lightly oil' was not the same amount of oil as the recipe author's. 

Perhaps Green Chef needs different cooking levelled recipes. Beginners get the version with everything explained (medium-low heat to lightly oil are spelled out in actual measurements) while more advanced home cooks can get the more vague directions.

Disney Part 3

This part of our Disney trip included my Mom who surprised us on the trip. We were genuinely surprised and it was awesome. For today's entry, we'll be covering some of the food we tried during the Festival of the Arts at Epcot.

France

Creme de Brie en Petit Pain

Rating--Katie and Mom gave this a 5. Nick didn't try much because he's lactose intolerant and we didn't have any pills.

Katie:

I remember this being absolutely amazing. The brie, which I'd only ever had cold in wedge form before, was creamy and so so good. The bread was the delivery mechanism for the cheese. I would happily have this as an appetizer anytime, anywhere.

Nick:

I tried a tiny little lick because if I had any more I would have been transformed into a fearsome biological weapon destroying the World Showcase with mega lactose farts. Everyone would have been like "Oh my god, did a sewer break? The smell seems to be coming from that extremely handsome and charming man!". Anyway, from the tiny little lick I had, this seemed good; almost like very high end cheese you would get on a $25, too big to finish Druther's mac and cheese. 

Trio de Macaron

Rating--Mom 2, Nick 2.5, Katie 3.5

Nick:

Hmmm. These are a little hard to judge because the different flavors were very different. One of them was like lemon or something? and it was horrible, which gets a zero; one was red and green and tasted like, ummmmm, cookie, which was fine and a 2.5; and one was like coffee or something and I only got one little bite because it was so good it went very quick. Add those all together and you get a 2.5!

Katie:

The coffee one was by far the favorite. One of them I remember being terrible and one was fine, if odd. I think we got another sleeve of these (they came in a little plastic bespoke container) just so more of us could try the coffee one. My 3.5 score was to account for the ones we didn't like.

Morocco

Mediterranean Flatbread

Rating--Everyone gave it a 3

Nick: 

Pretty good! Think Mediterranean pizza  -well, I guess pizza is already Mediterranean. OK, think Moroccan pizza with no sauce or cheese and instead it's covered in vegetables and fennel cream. So I guess not really like a pizza, but that's what it reminded me of. Because it's... flat. Katie, help.

Katie:

Oh gosh, I remember I liked this but not much of what it tasted like. We really have to take notes right after eating next time. I think I would have it again even though there was fennel in it.

Harissa Roasted Rack of Lamb

Rating--Unanimous 2

Katie:

I'm not sure why I gave it a 2. I remember not liking this at all. I can't recall a single time I've liked lamb. I had it right off the...thing...at Texas de Brasil and I didn't like it then either. Yuck.

Nick:

Ohhhhhh no. I don't like eating meat right off the bone; I'm a soft boy and it reminds me that the thing I'm destroying with my gnashing teeth and swallowing into my acid-filled pressure pit used to be a living creature with its own hopes and dreams whose burned flesh I'm ripping off its bones with my teeth right now. Sorry, little lamb kids! Nick ate your mom at Morocco! Anyway, this was a little too chewy for me. Also, Katie told me I should actually be apologizing to the sheep moms for eating their children. Oh no. And I gave their children a 2! I'm a monster!

Mouskoutchou

Rating--3.5 across the board

Nick:

Mouskoutchou!!! Let's banish thoughts of softly weeping sheep moms, upset that their children's flesh only got a score of 2 out of 5, with some mouskoutchou!!! I don't know why I didn't give this a higher score, because it was really good; very nice and tasty and orange-flavored without being too sweet. And it came on a cool mousse edible blue and white tile! Look, a complete monster wouldn't say that! Mouskoutchou! Ha ha!

Katie:

I liked this about as much as I will ever like something chocolatey and moussey. I thought the tile plate was really cool. I greatly enjoy things that are one thing but look like another thing. Like a candle I bought for my dad once that looked like a to-go coffee cup. I had one that legit looked like a blueberry scone...but it was a candle! Things that look like other things!

Dark Chocolate with Marzipan

Post-bite thoughts

Katie:

I only recently tried marzipan. I had been warned for years about how it was not well liked by most people and was an acquired taste. When I finally tried it, it was pretty good. The almond taste was strong enough to be felt but not so strong that I wanted to never hear the word almond again.

My past experience with dark chocolate is less positive. Over a certain percentage over pure cacao and I can't take the bitter taste. Up to a certain point, the bitterness can be quite pleasant, especially if the chocolate is mixed with another flavor like orange. 

I am actually going to pause my thoughts on the dark chocolate marzipan to have another bite. I need to more fully formulate my thoughts in light of my recent introspection. 

Okay, I'm back after having a little more. Overall, I like it. I believe I have said before that I can only handle eating so much of any chocolate at any given time so the small amount I had was enough for me for quite some time. That being said, I thought this was good. The kind of good where if a friend or relative has some and asks if you want some, you'll say "sure, I like that!" and enjoy it. It's not something I'd buy to just eat on my own or split with Nick. This is more to do with me not really being into chocolate rather than this being bad. If you like dark chocolate and you like marzipan, try this out for something different. It comes in squares so you can easily share with friends or dole it out to yourself bit by bit over time.

Nick: 

Hmmmm.... kind of a mixed bag here I think. The dark chocolate is good, the marzipan is good, and they actually go together very well taste wise; the chocolate really covers up the sometimes unpleasantly strong almond flavor that marzipan usually has (especially the aftertaste). In that regard, I think this is better than eating marzipan straight. The texture though..... hmm. Both Katie and I don't really like chocolate with differently-textured stuff inside it; I'll eat mint or orange or whatever flavored dark chocolate all day, but that's when the chocolate itself is flavored; when it's around something, that's when I start making a face like a cat who just tried to eat a bread twist tie he found on the ground. I think that's where this falls down a little bit; the texture of the hard, brittle chocolate and the thick, gritty marzipan don't quiiiiiiite work out. I think this would have been better as dark chocolate with the marzipan mixed directly into the chocolate (and it's not like marzipan isn't a strong enough taste for you to notice it's there). Overall, not bad, but I think I'd rather just eat some nice dark chocolate. 

PS: 60% is my line - once you go over that, you're on very risky ground with dark chocolate. Give me that 60% Lindt. No, seriously, give me some. Do you have any? Give it to me!